When God Disappoints, What Do I Do?

A song that has become a popular staple in worship services, including ours, is Firm Foundation.  The opening verse of the song says, “Christ is my firm foundation, the Rock on which I stand, when everything around me is shaken, I’ve never been more glad that I put my faith in Jesus cause He’s never let me down.  He’s faithful through generations, so why would He fail now?  He won’t.  He won’t.”  This was one of Carrie’s favorite songs and we sang it often.

Also, in a sermon just a few weeks before Carrie passed, I remember making the statement, “The Lord has never disappointed us before, so I know He’s not going to now.”  

I have struggled with those lyrics and that line in the sermon since Carrie has been gone.  In complete humility and transparency, I have felt like the Lord let me down.  I’ve felt…disappointed.

You see, over an 18-month period in 2024-2025, I sought the Lord with greater intensity than I ever have in my life.  I listened to hundreds of hours of sermons, praise & worship music, pouring over every promise in Scripture and crying out to the Lord in prayer.  And I was convinced the Lord was listening and He was moving on our behalf.  In fact, I was so certain that the Lord was going to bring earthly healing to Carrie that the bad news didn’t phase me anymore.  The doctor said, “There’s nothing more we can do.”  And I thought, “Well, it’s not in your hands to begin with.”  When hospice was recommended, I thought, “Not a problem, we have known others who got better and came off hospice.”  Again, I was CONVINCED by all I had read, heard, sang, and believed, that Carrie would be here today, telling her story of the miraculous things God had done for her.  But she is not.  She is with Him; and, for months, I’ve been trying to sift through what I thought the Lord was showing me versus the reality of what happened.  For months, I’ve felt waves of disappointment.

At first, I really tried to suppress it.  Because who am I to be disappointed with how life turns out?  Finally, though, I had to get honest with the Lord because it was eating me alive and He knows my heart anyway. So, I laid out my confusion, frustration, and other emotions in prayer on several occasions.  Did I get answers?  Not yet.  And I know I will never get full answers.  Quite honestly, if the Lord did say, “I brought Carrie home because……”, I know there is not a reason that would satisfy.

So, I have shared my disappointment with the Lord many times and He patiently listens and reassures my heart.  I have now come to realize that He actually invites us to bring all our hurt, anger, disappointment, and grief.  He can handle it and He is still working.

Like in the Psalms, when you feel God has disappointed, it is ok to let the raw emotions spill out before Him for as long as you need.  But, in the end, always bring it back to a renewed trust in His presence, His plan, and His purpose.  This is what I am choosing to do.    

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.

Philip Hickman has been the Lead Pastor of Legacy Baptist Church in Fort Worth, TX since August 2010.  He and his wife, Carrie enjoyed a wonderful marriage before she went to be with the Lord just 6 days before their 25th anniversary.  Together, Philip and Carrie have 2 adults children also serving in ministry – a son, John and his wife, Hannah, serving at Generations Church in Keller, TX, and daughter Abby, a college student and ministry leader at Legacy.