It’s the Little Things You Miss.

The moment Carrie entered the presence of the Lord; I felt a sense of overwhelming loss.  She was my best friend, ministry partner, confidant, lover, travel companion, mother to our kids, and so much more.  So many things were running through my mind on what I would miss now that she was gone.  Yet, even in those dark hours, the Lord mercifully granted an abundance of peace.

It wasn’t until a couple of weeks later that I had a fresh revelation of things I lost when I lost Carrie.  Every Sunday afternoon for years I have had the habit of taking a nap from 2-4pm.  And almost every Sunday morning Carrie would get my “nap spot” ready so I could come home right after lunch and “get to it”.  She would have my nap pillow fluffed, my nap blanket folded back, the curtains closed, and the room cool.  Perfect for a refreshing 2-hour nap I was sure to enjoy.  On rare occasions, she would say, “I’m so sorry, honey.  I was running late this morning and didn’t get your nap spot ready.”  I would assure her it was not a problem and that I’m still thankful for the other thousand times she did.  That first Sunday I came home and realized, “the nap spot will never be ready again”.  That was tough to lose that tiny expression of love.

Then I began thinking about other things I would miss.  Carrie was not taught how to cook or bake while growing up.  The meals she knew were either from restaurants or anything that came out of a can or box.  But throughout our marriage, she took pride in becoming a wonderful meal planner.  I remember times I tried to help, and she helped me see how I was doing it wrong. 😊 At least she let me handle all the grilling.  Our family’s favorite meal that she made was chicken spaghetti.  My absolute favorite dessert of hers was coconut pie.  It’s weird, but I actually experienced another wave of sadness over the reality that I will never again get to enjoy her chicken spaghetti or coconut pie.  Simple things you don’t think of in those initial days of grief.

Quick texts, just to say, “I love you”.  Quiet Saturday mornings on the couch drinking coffee and making small talk.  Holding hands many nights as we drifted off to sleep.  And so much more.  It’s little things, to which we didn’t give much thought at the time.  But today, I see them as big things…and I miss them so much!  If you are still blessed enough to have your spouse, don’t neglect the little things.  Enjoy them and be thankful for them while there is time.

How about you?  In the comments below, please share a little thing that you miss about your lost loved one and let’s encourage each other today.

Philip Hickman has been the Lead Pastor of Legacy Baptist Church in Fort Worth, TX since August 2010.  He and his wife, Carrie enjoyed a wonderful marriage before she went to be with the Lord just 6 days before their 25th anniversary.  Together, Philip and Carrie have 2 adults children also serving in ministry – a son, John and his wife, Hannah, serving at Generations Church in Keller, TX, and daughter Abby, a college student and ministry leader at Legacy.