My Adult Kids on Dad Dating and Remarrying.

About 6 weeks after the funeral the kids came over one night and we spent a few hours talking through emotions and reflecting on great memories with their mom.  We realized this was the first time since before the funeral that it was just the three of us together.  As a grieving husband and dad, this time with them was so comforting to me, and I’m sure it was for them as well.

Towards the end of the evening, Abby disappeared for a moment then came back with some papers.  She said for one of her college classes she had to write an essay on a song that was special to her and why.  It was not a song I was familiar with, but it was about life, love, and marriage.  Abby wrote about the love me and Carrie shared and the example it set for her in what she wanted for her future marriage.  Of course, I was crying as I read through it.   But it was the last line that broke me the most when she said, “I hope my dad can find love like that again someday.”

To this point, none of us had even mentioned the subject.  I figured that was still many months down the road.  Yet, as the dust settled in the weeks after the funeral, I had begun thinking about my future without Carrie and wondered what the Lord had in store.  As mentioned in my last post, my Nanny has been a widow for 47 years.  This is what she felt was right for her life, but I was not sure I felt the same.  So, with Abby’s essay, we all cried and hugged some more, and I was glad for the opportunity to talk about this sensitive subject with them.

From their side, both John and Abby expressed their love and support for me and for whatever the Lord has for my (our) future.  They said they trusted my decisions, knowing that I would seek the Lord’s direction and wait for His timing.

From my side, I assured them that I would trust the Lord and wait on Him, rather than trying to make something happen through a dating app or some other means.  I know dating apps have worked out great for many people, that’s just not me.  Plus, I don’t think there’s a pastormingle.com! 😊  No, I’m convinced that the Lord has allowed me to be in this season of life, therefore He has a purpose and plan I cannot understand.  And I want to see how it plays out in His time and without my help.

So, the bottom line is that I have some amazing young adults in John & Abby.  The Lord’s grace is on their lives – giving them wisdom and strength that has been such a comfort to me.  And His grace was also on our conversation about the future when the Lord opens the door to a new season.  I still remember Abby’s final statement, “I’ve always wanted a bigger family.” 😊  What a blessing!

How about you?  Any experience with adult kids weighing in on a parents’ decision to date again?  I would love to hear it – the good and the bad.