Perspective on Pain and Suffering

Two people can have similar experiences in life and come out of it with 2 different conclusions.  What’s the difference?  Perspective.  How we see and understand what’s happening to us in relation to the world around us.  

In some of the darkest days of my grief, which are thankfully behind me, the Lord reminded me of some simple verses of encouragement, “Rejoice always.  Pray without ceasing.  In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thes. 5:16-18)

Honestly, in those early days it was hard to rejoice and hard to pray – so I did little of both.  But the 3^rd admonition in those verses struck a chord with me – “in everything give thanks”.  Emphasis on the “in”.  It does not say “for” everything give thanks; simply, “in” everything.  That means that no matter how dark the days or how desperate the situation, there is always something with which I can be thankful.  

It felt like this was a “light bulb moment” for me.  You see, up to that point, grief had made me feel as if I was the only one on the planet who was suffering.  (Grief and the enemy have a way of perpetuating that lie!)  But suddenly, I became keenly aware of so much other suffering, injustice, and heartbreak in the world.  I got a call from a friend devastated by an unwanted divorce. I sat at a funeral watching as parents closed the casket of their 21-year-old son who died in a car accident.  I thought of the cold-blooded murder of Charlie Kirk and the life-long heartache it will bring to his wife and children.  (Carrie and Charlie died the same day, just a few hours apart.)

My “light bulb moment” gave me a change of perspective and renewed my mind with thoughts of things I could be thankful for even “in” my season of grief.

• I am thankful for time.  Unlike a car accident, a suicide, or a senseless murder, Carrie’s death was not instantaneous – we had time.  Not a lot, according to my calendar, but we had 2 ½ more years together in which we loved, talked, traveled, ministered, and enjoyed family and friends.

• I am thankful for the extra years we had as a family.  Thinking back to Charlie & Erica, me and Carrie were blessed with 20 more years of life than them.  Carrie was 51, Charlie was 31.  Me and Carrie were married almost 25 years; Charlie & Erica almost 5.  Our kids are 24 and 21; their kids 4 and 1.  I consider these extra years a great blessing from the Lord in which I give thanks.

• I am thankful we loved each other through the end.  I still look back on her last card, last posts, and last texts to me.  So sweet, so kind, and so full of love for the life we built together over 25 years.

Please understand, reflecting on the suffering of others did not alleviate my own, nor was it an attempt to find solace in the pain of others.  It merely brought me back to the reality of widespread suffering in this broken world and it gave me the push I needed to look outward and begin praying for people that have it much harder than me.  Perspective!

Are there difficulties in your life where God has given you a fresh perspective?  I’d love to hear about it!